I Know I'm Not PMSing

I started my period 2 days ago so I know I'm not PMSing anymore, but for whatever reason(s), I cry at the drop of a dime. Every and any little thing just makes me tear up - when I think about Greg and our love, when I think about what I've been through personally and emotionally over the last couple years, what I have planned for myself, us, our dreams and how things could so easily just fall apart, how fragile life is as we are all getting older - I just cry.

I'm going to meet my boyfriend's family very soon and I just cry thinking about it - I don't think it is out of nervousness totally, it's hitting me somewhere deep inside because I know something very real is about to happen to me in my life. I feel that life is about to take some major turns, it's all going to be beautiful, I can just feel it. And I just cry.

Maybe it's the holidays when you think about your family & friends, and it's coming to the end of the year when you think about everything you've been through, how much you've changed and grown, and how far you've come. Lately, I don't want to be the life of the party, I don't want to be especially sociable, I just want to be with the ones I care about most, who cares about the rest. Nothing else matters, which all the more just makes me want to cry. What is with all these tears? Maybe I will understand somewhere down the line. I will wait for that day.