Be all about You

You and I had a falling out last year, and we haven't spoken since, no emails, no phone calls, no Christmas cards after almost two decades of friendship. All throughout, I felt this deep-seated sadness and insecurity on your part, but I could never put my finger on it; friends of yours would trickle out and I could never understand why. We'd buy the same music, and I would always adhere to the happier, lighter songs, while you related to the sadder songs of loss, heartache and hurt. You were so hard-headed and super conscious of money and where it would leave you, while I took risks, spent too freely, had a back-up if I fell flat. You were jealous of me, poked fun when I clearly had the advantage, built yourself up because no one else would, kicked me when I was down when I felt the world collapsing around me over and over again.

You told me the truth - two very important people were gone from your whole life, two who we all take for granted but are there. Friends left you when you told them the truth, the truth you were afraid would make me leave too. When told, I felt deep sadness for your loss and all that you didn't have then angry at you for not telling me all these years then stupid for believing you - a plethora of normal emotions, and when I finally expressed them to you, you ran, didn't want to talk it out, be an adult, deal with it, you ran before you thought I would leave you. Well, I never left, I'm still here. You might've moved on by now, it's a thin cover-up, but as each day passes, I believe more and more that our friendship was not what I thought it was and maybe this was all for the best. You never listened to me, and it was always all about you. Well, then, be all about you - get help, get counseling, that's too much to deal with for one person. Good luck, good-bye ~ Peace out.