Emotions Right on the Surface

I so easily cry these days since Pepe died - it's like a river dam was weakened and water rushes through any little crack and opens it up. I just can't help it as my emotions are right at the surface. I hear a song that reminds me of someone I miss, the tears come. I hear a first-hand story of a family who was relocated here from New Orleans who lost everything including maybe some family, I cry. I see a picture of a stranded dog in New Orleans waiting for someone to rescue him, I can't help myself. I think of everything that's going on right now and how strong I need to be, tears emerge. I feel pain in my side, I hope and pray that the antibiotics are working, tears again.

But there is some light - a shared experience at the Glide Church with my choir buddy Susan, songs and music that raise my spirits and speak to me, a moment basking in the San Francisco sun feeling the breeze through my hair while sitting in my building courtyard, the Ghirardelli Chocolate Festival and all it's wonderfulness, chocolate-covered strawberries, caramel chocolate sorbet and sundaes topped with chocolate syrup, nuts and a cherry, seeing a familiar face who helped me gain closure for a slightly opened wound, a handsome neighbor opens the door for me and asks me how I am with his beautiful blue eyes and bright smile. Ahh, men - just gotta love 'em.

I'm all right for the most part, I know I'll get through this - but it's just those moments in between that catch me and open up that dam. I'll let the water flow through for now, and with time, the dam will repair itself gaining more strength for whatever comes.