I Just Don't Know

I haven't heard from you in awhile, and I don't know where you are. So many thoughts of sorrow go through my head when I think about you now because I held on for as long as I could, but I just don't know if I can hold on any longer, especially now that my heart might be flying off in a new, unexpected direction, can't be helped, lives intersected, crossed and now you and I might be at a breaking point. For all I know, you might be on your way to me, but as our relationship seemed to be at a standstill in my eyes, my life went flying by and I had no control over this beautiful man who came into my life for reasons unknown but I do not question.

I could put a stop to it for you, but I just can't deny myself this man, simply can't, please understand, you might, you might not, either way it will hurt. It will hurt me to hurt you. You see as I don't know if you'll come through, were ever going to, did you mean everything you said, I thought and felt that you did. You said to me that the devil often dances with you and puts a hold on your life causing you pain and suffering. I wish not to be another token to that notion, but I just might if you don't do something now to show me who you are and what you want. My hand reached out to you one more time, but if it's meant to be or not, it will show me either way soon enough.