Hits Like a Ton of Bricks

Grandma N. was a tough little lady. She farmed coffee alongside my Grandpa for decades upon decades getting up at the crack of dawn, making that steaming cup of coffee and hot breakfast to get their day going. They had 7 acres of land total and farmed what they could, made a living, raised two boys - my uncle and my dad, had a simple life overlooking the ocean literally on the side of a volcano. She was tough, always questioning, keeping everyone in line, wanting to know what was going, making little jokes to keep things light, teasing in her own way.

My Grandpa passed away, and my Grandma with the help of my uncle carried on without him farming a little less with every year. But still, she had that light in her eyes, that little slight bit of naughtiness. In the three times Greg visited with her with me, he saw a bit of Grandma in me and snickered. If my uncle didn't pick her up on time from the senior activity center, she would walk home with or without sidewalks, stubborn, strong and independent. Greg giggled. "That's where Maile gets it from..."

She was my last grandparent alive, she outlived them. That's her, that's Grandma. We just saw her November of last year, and she was still sprite, giving us relationship advice, telling Greg not to mess with me because "she get sharp teeth" (ha!), telling us to eat some more, busy pulling weeds outside as were getting ready to leave, telling us to come back again soon.

Good night, Grandma, sweet dreams. I can see you smiling and laughing alongside Grandpa again. You two were so cute together. Take good care, rest in peace, I'll miss you. I love you.

Life is strange...just when you think you're at the top of the world, that you're untouchable, so resilient and proud, life just smacks you right back down to humble you. Life was good, I was enjoying the benefits of being a FT employee at my company and then *smack*, my company gets bought out and our future is uncertain. 2009 comes and I'm a year older wondering what the future will hold - will it get better? Will it get bleaker? Will we have answers? Will we have a resolution? A revolution? Finances are more than tight, re-fi is a nightmare. Just makes me wanna... .... ....just hold on til hopefully a better day. Til then, do everything you can to keep a faint smile, chin up and maintain a shred of sanity because there is no normalcy, no certainty...only that uncertainty is a certainty right now. Do everything and anything to hang in there.