The Last Invocation

At the last, tenderly
From the walls of the powerful fortress'd house,
From the clasp of the knitted locks, from the keep of the well-closed doors,
Let me be wafted.

Let me glide noiselessly forth;
With the key of softness under the locks - with a whisper,
Set open the doors O soul.

Tenderly - be not impatient,
(Strong is your hold O mortal flesh,
Strong is your hold O love.)

- Walt Whitman (1819-1892)

~ Many feelings as one flies away to find love, love across continents, feelings mixed and tangled to a manageable degree, can feelings be compartmentalized? We shall see. Waiting for time and for the dust to settle, just breathe.

In Good Company

I rented the above movie, and with everything I went through with my job at the end of last year to the present, it was an eye-opener to see companies onscreen being taken over, jobs lost, positions being shuffled around, business decisions made without a thought or care to the personal lives affected. I didn't enjoy coming over to my new company at first mostly because I felt like I didn't have a choice - but really, there is always a choice, I was happy the way I was, I didn't want change yet again, I wasn't ready for it. I had to learn all new administrative logistics, get to know a whole new group of people, adjust to a new manager's style. I really wasn't having it, but I chose to stick it out and give it awhile, "we'll see what happens".

But over time, I've become adjusted and see the value in the way this company does things, I appreciate my manager for being by-the-book but fair across the board, for putting thought into our day to day operations never pushing us farther than she thinks we can fly. My co-workers especially in my region, my mentor, have taken the time to get to know me and to explain the way it's done here, and I gave back too. I'm doing all right - I miss some elements of my old company, but I think it has all worked out just fine. A couple others who came over from the old company, however, chose to fly the coop early for another company. I respect their choice, but I don't think they gave this new company a fair chance. Cards are dealt, you deal with them, hold them or fold them. I choose to stick it out and never bluff.

TV Guide Cancer Horoscope for this Week

It would appear that someone you thought you could trust is taking advantage of your kindly nature, and if you don't put a stop to it soon, the results could be dire. End a long-term friendship if you have to. You may be softhearted, but there is a core of steel in you, too.

~ I don't believe in horoscopes completely, but I thought it was quite strange that two different readings tell me to let go of a "friend" or some kind of evil. Something cosmic is going on out there...

~ Tammy, let me be pissed, let me let it out, then I can get over it faster. If you experienced and heard what I did, you would feel the same way. I'm pretty much "over it" anyway now ~ my mini roadtrip to Fresno did wonders for me.

SF Weekly Cancer Horoscope May 25-31, 2005

Research on newly discovered fragments of ancient New Testament texts reveals that Christian fundamentalists have been working under an erroneous assumption. The number of the Beast is not 666, as right-wing prophets of the apocalypse have long believed. The correct figure is actually 616. I mention this, Cancerian, because your ideas about enemies and evil are also about to undergo a revision. Freed from an illusion, you will at first be sad, then relieved, then confused, then elated.

~ Hmmmmm...ok, I'll wait, a plethora of emotions.

"Friends" Go

I have lost a few good friends in the past for good reason, for reasons unknown, or they've just faded away because we no longer had things in common. But "friends" who are lost because they are harboring issues, anger and jealousy is a sad case, I think mostly for them. I know who I am, the heart that I have, the people who are good to me, those who I will give back to with all that I have. I don't need people who bring their issues on me because it makes them feel better - deal with them yourself. Deeply bitter people are sometimes attracted to me because I am a free-spirit, I deal with life in my own way on my own schedule, and when it comes down to it, I don't care what I look like to anyone else, as long as I am all right with who I am. Good-bye to those who cannot see the beauty in my heart, maybe you see what you can never be.

Remember

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

- Christina Georgina Rossetti (1830-1894)

~ A bit haunting and dark, but it is a reminder that there is beauty in forgiveness and letting go, the natural processes of life if you let it ride and flow.

Nothing on this Side

This blog is for the darker side of me. I haven't had anything to write on this side lately...because I'm in LOVE! ;) Take air.