Trust Me & Then Let Go

I have made rash decisions in the past, I have leapt before without really looking, I have made my share of mistakes - but I have learned from all of it, I remember what I need to and let go of the rest. For those who have doubt or fear about my recent decision to leave, trust me that I know what I am doing. It may not look like it, granted, and I may not have all the details, but I am following my heart, my instinct and everything inside me that is telling me to make this change, doing my research. It is time.

The momentum has started and it will be rolling soon, a bit faster than I'm prepared for I'm sure, but I will be going with it with eyes wide open prepared for anything, flexible at each turn, learning, often times the hard way as I normally do. I have been known to back away from people who discourage me as once my sights are set, I move forward, walking, stopping, moving forward when I am ready. If you're onboard with me, great, but don't bring me your baggage and cynicism to try to slow me down. Look into yourself before you try to throw caution to the wind for me. I have my own mission in this life, so let me go or I will move forward without you.

SF Weekly Cancer Horoscope

Physics instructor David Willey can safely walk barefoot across fields of broken glass. He can also dip his fingers into vats of molten lead and lie sandwiched between two beds of nails without incurring injury. There's no magic involved, he says. He relies solely on his understanding of science. Metaphorically speaking, these are the kinds of feats you'll be able to pull off in the coming week, Cancerian. Like Willey, you shouldn't depend on guesswork or luck. Do as he has done, which is research the laws of nature and use them to accomplish seemingly impossible tricks.

Thank you~*

Moving for Love

Moving for Love. Wow. Did I expect my life to go this way? No way. Lives bisected and it feels right, timing is everything and it's almost like we came together to save each other, our visions are similar, our life stages are in sync. It is unbelieveable, completely and no one can believe I am about to embark on the biggest adventure thus far of my life. I, most of all, cannot believe it, truly. But as I take baby steps forward, gathering my information, see signs that this is the way I am supposed to go right now, it is becoming more real, a bit more scary, but exciting to the maximum force. Here I GO!

Driving Nowhere in Particular

Awww...as I was driving around San Francisco today to do some errands, I saw a lot of places where Giuliano have made new memories, something that I will always cherish. We really did cover a lot of San Francisco together - Chinatown, North Beach, Fisherman's Wharf, Japantown, Fillmore, downtown, Union Square, south of Market, financial district, Embarcadero, Golden Gate Bridge, Baker Beach - on foot, in the car, on a cable car. Then, we also went out to South San Francisco, East Bay, up along the coast North of Marin, up to Napa a couple times, Treasure Island - my Impala racked up some miles. I miss my partner in crime, my righthand man, my navigator, the eyes in the back of my head, my hand held, my joy...I miss him so much.

Mixed Blues

Oy, what a month! Giuliano was here with me in my little studio for a full month, and it was just the right amount of time to get to know each other, have lots of good good times, laughs, a couple of fights, argued it and worked it through - and now he has gone back to Costa Rica. Memories are fresh and smiles surface quickly as well as tears as I miss his goofy smile and sense of humor, his energy, his...but I will be with him again soon as I have reservations to visit him in Costa Rica in early March, to see him and to re-check with myself if Costa Rica could really be a home for me with him. Amazing how a few days of vacation in Quepos with an Italian man can change everything that I knew upside down with a smile and giggle, anticipation of a life that I have only dreamt of. But as time unfolds and a story and the answers that I need come, the picture will become clearer and pieces will fall into place or fall where they may. We shall see. I don't dive into situations head first like I used to in my 20s, but I still love to take a risk or two to shake things up, turn my life sideways and jiggle. That's just me.

A Very Fine Balance

There is a very fine balance in relationships, all - between wanting and needing, finding that balance between being together and having space to be with yourself with your own thoughts, between reaching out and pulling away gently and lovingly, give and take in smiles in firmness in voice and expression in money in gifts in giving of the self, between lending a hand and letting the other figure things out, stretching yourself for the other and recoiling and being selfish with what is yours, what you want for yourself, possibly moving to another country for love, for a life that could bloom into beauty that could only be imagined to most but could be a reality for us, away from loved ones and friends but only a plane ride away to a paradise for Giuliano and me. There is a fine balance in this relationship, but one that we are willing to discover together.